I’m not stupid.
One thing that I secretly have a colossal pet peeve for that I don’t talk about very often is being told that I’m unintelligent or having my intelligence insulted.
Like, I grew up being told by everyone around me that I was stupid and no good and couldn’t do anything or whatever, and it quickly got to the point where I believed everyone because if everyone said it then maybe there’s something to it, right?
So for a long time, I just accepted the fact that I wasn’t smart and believed it and even told myself that on a daily basis.
I understand NOW that it’s not true and that they were wrong, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t have days or moments where it all comes back. For me, doing stuff that I don’t know or understand (like math, sports, or taxes) is actually a trigger for me because it brings all that shit back and I can’t deal with it very well.
But to avoid getting off topic, I just want to throw this into the void (because that’s how I cope):
I don’t like it when people tell me I’m not smart or make fun of me for not understanding something or for being confused. It makes me really mad and hurts my feelings.
For me, it happens. A LOT. But you don’t have to be a fucking asshole about it. Especially if you’re supposedly my friend. Like, insulting my intelligence isn’t going to make you feel any better about yourself (even if you think it will), so why do it at all?
I know I’m not stupid. I’m actually quite intelligent.
I’m a film production major and came into this program knowing absolutely nothing and now I can do everything except cinematography and sound (because surprisingly, they really don’t teach that shit here).
I’m very knowledgeable about social issues.
I have four years of experience reading, writing, and speaking Japanese, which is considered one of the hardest languages to learn.
IT WAS EASY.
I can read the shit out of people if you give me an hour with them.
I can write better than most people I know. Like, I’m really fucking good at it.
I’ve won awards, for Christ’s sake.
I was Editor-in-Chief of a fucking magazine.
So yeah, I’m actually pretty damned smart, even if my GPA doesn’t show it.
I may get confused really easily, I might forget things too quickly, and I get overwhelmed by things I don’t understand.
But that doesn’t mean I’m incompetent. And even if it did, that’s not an excuse to insult me (or anyone else) for it.
So don’t come here and make fun of me for being confused at the atrocity of your grammar in a text message or having never heard of “double boiling” in reference to cooking before (I don’t cook much because I don’t have the materials needed to cook, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fucking do it).
Hurting me isn’t going to make you feel better. Especially since I know exactly how to hurt back, and I can do it in a way that’ll hurt even worse.
Think about that.